It's one thing to say, “OK, I've gotta put my 'boss' hat on now.” It's another thing to say, “I am the Boss.” If being the boss is truly an identity element for the gifted and talented kid, it's much easier to project a boss persona that people around you will believe and accept.
Some growth comes naturally. Most comes through hard work. Ask any world class musician. A lady came up to a friend of mine after one of his performances. She said, “I'd give my life to play like you do.” He replied “I did!”
Self-identifying as “gifted” is pretty good. Adding social skills that allow you to project that gift in a positive way into the lives of people, well, I think that's a plus. Leadership skills can make a huge difference in the way life unfolds for a gifted and talented child.
The people of Digital Clones would love to present to you topics on preparing gifted and talented children for their adult futures.
Book a Speaking Engagement
Be the Boss by 12 will be a game changer for parents as well as gifted and talented kids. This ebook series will open up a deep level of collaboration within many families.
Begin buying the Be the Boss by 12 ebook series now!
Be the Boss by 12 is a series of ebooks designed to help any gifted and talented child grow into a successful adult. The gifted child can add the skills of leadership to other gifts and talents. Such kids can build social habits that make school a richer experience. In their futures, the powers of leadership enable the gifted child to engage future decision-makers on a peer-to-peer footing to negotiate great career paths and compensation.
Erik Lenderman: So, today we're talking about Chapter Four, which is “Your Decision to Make a New Habit: Always Think of Yourself as the Boss”. Tell us about this chapter.
Thomas Meylan, Ph.D.: OK, this is a real lynch-pin chapter. This is where I'm actually...maybe the only time where I'm really putting the reader's feet to the fire and saying, “Look, I want you to decide to be the boss! Here's why! Here's how!” We're basically reinforcing all of those little, two-page chapters, and saying it's about feeling this way. “I want you to start feeling like the boss.” It's about acting this way. “I want people to notice you as the boss. I want you to decide today that this is the way you're going to reset your habits going forward for the rest of your grade school, and upcoming high school years.”
So, this is kind of the “Come to Jesus” chapter. This is where...“I've been telling you how it works. I've been setting up at least within the family dynamics what you need to work with, what you maybe need to work against. But, we've got soft ways of making this work.” And so now, it's like, “You're about half-way through the book...Do It!” And so, it is very explicitly the decision, “I will be the boss.”
Erik Lenderman: So, it sounds like this is the chapter where you're focusing on taking all this kind of ground work and telling the kid, “OK, it's time to make a decision, and it's time to resolve to do this.” And, how do you encourage them to do that in this chapter? What are the key messages that they get out of this chapter?
Tom Meylan: Well, the thing that we're working at now is basically, it's a bit of a recap (here are these things. “This is your future! We've discussed how, if you decide to wait for somebody else to set your future for you, good luck! You'll take what you get. If you get nothing, which happens a lot, then you get nothing.”
So, it's like, “Going forward, this is how we're going to do this. And it's going to be much more fun, much easier to do, if you just make this personal commitment to your own self-image, that you're the boss.” This is a piece of empowerment. In one sense it's a commitment. But, all through life, commitment is frequently a place of empowerment. “OK, I've joined this company. I'm gonna give it my all.” “I've joined this team, and we're gonna win.” Whatever it is. Commitment, and especially commitment to one's self...now you know what your targets are. Now you know what you're working toward. And until you make that commitment, you're just kind of fuzzy, skating around. “Yeah, this boss thing's kinda...looks like a lot of work.”
Hey, living with the left-overs is a lot of work. You're gonna work hard regardless. So, the point is, are you going to work hard on what you want to work on, and make that successful, or are you gonna wait for somebody to give you your break, or whatever it is. So, this is a big...“Change this habit now! You will start to feel like...” You're not going to wake up and say, “Well, I don't feel like the boss today.” Wrong wake-up call! You wake up and you tell yourself, “Time for me to practice feeling like the boss.”
Simple. Maybe it sounds stupid, but this kind of inner dialog stuff is the place where we live. It's where we build ourselves every day. And so, this is basically a call to... We don't use language like “inner dialog” in the book, but this is what it's about.
Erik Lenderman: That's great, that's great! So, Chapter Four, making sure that the kid is prepared to make this transformation. Now, they're going to rehearse their skills, feeling like the boss, being the boss, and learning these leadership qualities. So, make sure you get a copy of Tom's book if you want to get the exercises, you actually want to learn how to use these things in your family, and with your kids, and you can click the link below to pre-order, or order, and we will be back with some more content shortly.
As a gifted person, I found Be the Boss by 12 to be both informational and encouraging. I can't wait to learn more in the following volumes! Thanks Tom! Logan, 12 years old, San Diego, CA
The gifts will mostly take care of themselves.
Build emotional toughness
into the child's inner dialog.
Teach the child to project
the social cues of "The Boss."